SUN, SARDINES, AND WELL, SALTWATER

Sometimes you* need a fresh start. A clean fresh start that reminds you of who you are and what your take on life is. A new dawn that makes you feel yourself amidst the loss and the grief and the sleep deprivation. I am happy. First and foremost, I am happy. Happy now too, yes, even in the painful aftermath of forever missing my Dad, but above all, happy in nature. Happy even as tears roll down my face at the memory of what was and the sadness of a whole future of forever missing him. Happy in fresh starts.… View Post

MUM GUILT IS ALIVE AND WELL

The mum guilt is real! There’s nothing you do as a parent that couldn’t be done better. By you. And there’s nothing you do as a parent which the alternative for wouldn’t leave you feeling guilty either way. You cannot win as a parent, and that’s just considering your own opinion (let alone the multitude of unsolicited personal views – mental punch!). The other night, after nursery, the toddler wanted to watch some TV and I let him. For 20 minutes, he watched some sweet cartoons in Portuguese (BONUS!) as I cooked a fresh homemade meal (like all our meals… View Post

OF LOSS AND GRIEF

If this had a sub-heading, it would most certainly be “or how to lose a Father, the manual”. As it turns out, most of my posts don’t have a sub-heading, and we just have to make do without it on this occasion. I have so much to say about my Dad, about the loss of my Dad, about waking up one day to the reality of that loss. I have so much to say and nothing at all, all at once. I’ve got nothing. My pain is as raw as it is not there. Surely you cannot feel for what… View Post