Sun, sardines and saltwater

all the words, none of the time

all the words, none of the time

I write in my head every day. I write little thoughts, memories, snippets of life, musings, funny things, heartbreaking ones too. I write them down with all my might, in my head, multiple times a day. And barely any get saved for posterity. They are but ways to cope with life, my own way, writing through it all, even when I can’t. As of a couple of months ago, I have been committing some of these thoughts to paper. Incoherent, written in stolen moments as the kettle boils, or dinner cooks, or on my way to settle a baby calling…

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WHEN STROKE STRUCK

WHEN STROKE STRUCK

A day after my birthday last year, on the 8th August, I called my Father from the passport queue at Gatwick Airport to say we’d landed. He did not answer. Half an hour later, I got through to my Mother, who was on her way to the hospital where my Father had been taken. Stroke. That was all she knew and that was all she said. And that was the end of life as we knew it. I remember having the baby in the baby carrier, so close to me, and spinning around gently, oh so lost, when busy Gatwick…

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IT IS MY BIRTHDAY

IT IS MY BIRTHDAY

I love my birthday. I love celebrating my birthday. Yet, this year. Every day is hard with grief, I’ll give you that one for free. And then somehow, some days are a tad bit harder. A lot harder. Like birthdays. Yours and theirs. And special days. Last year, on my birthday, we were all there and there was cake, always the same cake, and laughter and that sweet promise of the future ahead that birthdays make you feel. This year, for my birthday, I’m trying to come to terms with loss and an unsurmountable pain that doesn’t get easier as…

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