Life has changed. As of a month ago, I no longer have a long distance relationship. Michael (or LMrJ) has moved to Oxford and we are finally in the same city.
We have begun the long journey of adjusting to life together. All about him being here is better, but even adjusting to something better can take time and effort. Some things are little and some things are big, but at the moment we have to walk the walk to see where it leads us.
There are things you’re never told about life changing moments like this. You are told and you think it too, how things will be just perfect when you can be together in one place and no longer have a long distance relationship. You’ll get to do things together when you want, curl up on the sofa watching a film under a blankie, eat ice cream from a tub or go for nice walks by the river. This is all true, but there’s another bit people don’t tell you about – it can be scary and it will require adjusting, possibly a lot of it. Perfect will never come and the very-good-perfect-to-you time may take a little while.
When I realised someone would change continents (!) partially for me, and their whole life as a consequence, I panicked! I wanted him here but to think someone would be changing their life so much for it to happen really scared me. Had it been the other way round, no problem, it was my choice and I would deal with the consequences of that, but for him to do it… oh dear, give me a panic paper bag now!
From then on, I have been on a lonely path to acceptance, read there was nothing I could do to change anything, so I had to just deal with it. When Michael arrived, one of my legs wanted to stay put and the other one wanted to flee. The lazy leg won, which was kinda helpful. The first few days were hard. Harder than I thought it would be. And then one day we seemed to turn a corner. Here’s the true bit people don’t tell you – once you turn that corner you’ll be fine, but you can’t see past that corner until you’re on the other side.
It feels less daunting now. I’m beginning to feel I can do this. What the heck, if he’s doing it with all it involved for him, so can I.