November rant and dream making

November is most certainly my least favourite month. It’s really just not my thing, with the first frosts, and ridiculously short days, and depressing darkness, and all the good things still so far away, like Christmas or, say, spring.

People go on and on about how January is depressing, but I don’t see it, I really don’t. January brings the promise of a new year, new beginnings, light at the end of the tunnel with the countdown to Spring. November? Not so much!

These reasons make November the perfect month for projects and decisions – to add some spice to the dull dark days. Last year, I blogged everyday in November and that was a good way to cope with the dullness (and the pain, there was a lot of pain last November). It was also the month I decided to embark on the 365 Photo Project this year – which I’m still doing, even if I’m behind (very behind!!) with the sharing of it. And it’s not half as fun as this one! C’mon, how absolutely cool is this??

This year, I drowned in work, both for my day job and the business. I blinked and the month was almost over – or was that the whole year? Possibly. I had hot chocolate as I read a post from last year commenting on what felt like the exact same hot chocolate. That made me enjoy writing here a tad bit more, in spite of all the full posts I never share because they stay firmly in my head only. I dragged myself sailed through copious amounts of French class homework, like the 200 word essay I should be writing right now. And I realise some things never change, starting with the November greyness.

As I defy new year resolutions and start new habits in – wait for it – November, like the regular running I’ve re-started but keep quiet so as not to jinx myself, or the bootcamp class that has become my inspiring Monday, I feel I need to find a new project to focus on.

The 365 Photo Project, whilst almost complete, ended up not being what I was expecting. At all. If anything, my photography and I are going through relationship problems and need counselling. So can I possibly do?

Time will be an issue in 2016, with launching the business and the busy, albeit stimulating, day job, so I have to be realistic to what I commit to. And yet on this very cold November evening I don’t want to be realistic! I want to dream and run free with my projects, even if they don’t go anywhere. Up until now they were realistic and achievable, but… I got nothing out of them. Perhaps I should aim for the stars?

Photography and writing are the things I want to focus on. Sure, there’s the non-business related sewing, and the knitting, and reading a pile of books a family of minions could live under, but… I can photograph and write about all of those things.

I miss the joy of photography and the time to go through my photos. I miss the beauty of shallow depth of field. I miss having the time. ‘You’ll miss having the time‘, I can hear my parents telling my rushed teenage self. I do, Mum, I do, Dad, I do.

Above all, what I want is to feel inspired, to be inspired. And I want creativity to run free and create beauty. No small feat, therefore. Surely I can think of something? I’ll keep you posted.