Dad is the best Bisca player ever 😀
This is a Monday of emotions and searching deep for the good things, only to find they are right on the surface of my life.
Dad is in hospital. He has been in hospital since Saturday night. Today we learned it is pneumonia and is not so widespread. Today we learned his heart is ok, which is always our main concern as he has had a heart attack before and a few minor procedures to ensure the overall good function of his heart. Today he stopped pretending he was fine and let me hear his croaky voice while making jokes about hospital food. Dad likes to talk about food. That and the weather in the UK.
Whilst I sit here writing a post meant to be inspiring, I think about Dad. I could tell you we have this perfect relationship and how all is wonderful and how my heart sinks when I hear he's remotely unwell; yet only that last bit is true. We argue a lot and have what most people would consider a difficult relationship, but it's ours. All ours. I am a Daddy's girl through and through and I don't even blush nor look apologetic while saying it. If I have half a problem, Dad is who comes to mind as the solver of all things. Mostly because he is the solver of all things. Partly because he is our rock. Partly because it comforts me to know he's there for me.
Dad has a big heart. An enormous heart. A heart a bit bigger than his temper, but we've learned to live with it. And this man with an enormous heart and a small pneumonia, did not want me to know he was ill, let alone in hospital. When I called, he mastered all his strength to produce a steady voice and told me he was buying the paper. From an intensive care unit filled with people. Because that's Dad all over, it doesn't matter what others think, only you matter. Like when I let the car die on my first day of driving and the car behind beeped at us and he calmly said to me "it doesn't matter, take your time, he won't go anywhere until you do" and smiled at me and the world was right again. He didn't want me to know because I am a Daddy's girl and my heart sinks when I hear he's remotely unwell and I'm far away and he didn't want me stressed. But of course I was told… and after crying and feeling that feeling of I could be so lost (do you know the one?), I called him up and asked how he was and he told me about hospital food and how well he'd be doing in no time. And that is what love is.
:: my parents. because my Mother is taking it all in the chin and they come as a package, my parents.
:: hospital food. this one is for you, Dad!
I know this is a short list. But for once, it isn't about the little things, it's about the big ones, as Mum and Dad and that served-far-too-early-and-lacking-in-any-flavour hospital food.
Have a happy Monday everyone!